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Be a Hero: Spend Time with Your Children
by Tammy Vaughn, Director of Early
Childhood, Children's Hunger Alliance
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Originally published in the June, 2005 Columbus Parent Magazine.
Reprinted by permission.
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DAYTON - Not all of us experience fatherhood, in the most traditional sense, but we all
experience fatherhood in some small way.
Many of us are fathers, and everyone has a father or knows a father. Single mothers experience
fatherhood in a more intimate way by assuming the job based on need.
Oftentimes, children even take on a fatherly role through pretend play or to fill the void of an
absent dad. So, what is fatherhood exactly?
Fatherhood isn't necessarily derived from being male, and although some stereotypes and tranditional
gender-based responsibilities might be accurate, not all are. You know the stereotypes: the disciplinarian, the
gravy train, and Mr. Fix-It.
In my childhood home, Mom was better at setting limitations and holding us accountable, and when
she spoke, we listened.
Dad was a slacker in the traditional fatherhood sense. It was commonplace to hear, "Just wait
until yoru mother gets home." My father was not moved by tradition, but he was an incredible father. What
makes him and so many other fathers incredible? Heroism. A hero is defined as anyone who plays an admirable role
in an important event or period. And what event is more important or admirable than becoming a father?
Young children don't know -- or even care -- about financial security, home maintenance or upward
mobility. They haven't developed an appreciation for things that don't directly impact their immediate comfort
level and feelings.
The thing that matters most to children is the quantity and quality of time spent with parents
and loved ones.
Are you playing an admirable role in the lives of your children?
I admire my father for the countless hours of playing catch and for sitting while I combed his
hair into every imaginable style. And this was after a 10-hour workday.
I admire the controlled liberation that my father extended to me. It was through that carefully
chaperoned freedom that I learned to trust, explore, and experience my world.
Are you embracing fatherhood? Are you living up to the standard of heroism that your children expect?
Seize the spirit of fatherhood. BE a hero starting at age zero. First impressions are important
-- especially in the eyes of your child.
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BOOKSHELF
- Just Like Dad (Little Bill) (Simon Spotlight/Nickelodeon, 2001).
- Papa Small (Random House, 2004)
- Daddy Makes the Best Spaghetti (Clarion Books, 1999)
- "101 Secrets a Good Dad Knows," by Walter Browder
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