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COLUMBUS - Parents often talk about raising well-rounded children, but is that thought lent to work/life
balance for children?
Research shows that adults who achieve work/life balance are better performers and happier than those who have
not achieved optimal balance. Achieving adult work/life balance is a collaborative effort between employee and
employer. Achieving childhood work/life balance is a collaborative effort between child and family. Are you collaborating
with your children to meet their needs in terms of balance?
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Children do not have the needed skills to identify limitations, but they do feel stress when the choices their
parents allow them to make overload their capacity. Activities that are not choices are feasibly identifiable:
school, homework, family, meal time and sleep. Extracurricular activities, sports, social activities and lessons
might fall into a nice-to-do category. What about free time or leisure time? From a parent's perspective, free
time could be considered extinct. So, why should children have free time?
Why is free time important?
Free time is an incredible opportunity for children to think without adult interference, to make choices and to
be creative and spontaneous. Children learn how to be trustworthy, self-regulate their actions and recognize their
own limitations. Children explore during free time: They use their senses without adult input. They develop a self-image
and identify their likes and dislikes. Children need to know who to think independently, how to put thoughts to
action and how they do or do not fit into the world around them. Free time offers the best opportunity to think
freely and try out those thoughts, to make choices without bias or interference from the world around them.
Creating a child's work/life balance
Searching for work/life balance for children can be complicated. Children should have adult guidance,
structure and routine in their lives. They need adult-directed activities to feel secure. Parents should introduce
a child to a variety of interests, but just like adults, some children multitask more successfully than others.
Some children can or will accept a fast pace. Balance is best achieved when it is based on a child's unique interests
and needs.
The first task is to determine the must-dos: school, homework, family, meal time and rest time.
Once you establish a routine with these basic needs, and your child masters it without stress, you can begin to
gently fold other activities into the routine. Start with ample free time: A time set aside every day that your
child knows they have the freedom to explore, make choices and build trust.
Once this new routine of free time is mastered, fold in other interests. Exposing children to a
variety of interests and activities is ideal, but allow them to choose acclivities and follow through with the
interests that are meaningful to them. As you fold activities into your child's routine, watch for warning signs
of imbalance. Sudden mood changes, behavior changes, insomnia, poor grades, poor appetite, not completing assignments/homework
and disinterest in favorite activities are all signs that a child could be experiencing stress. You may need to
remove something from the routine. You can add it back once your child is better prepared to support it emotionally
and developmentally.
A child's work is added to the mix after school work. Life is an intricate combination of doing
what feels good and what is good to do or expected. Just like adults in the workplace, children who achieve optimal
work/life balance will perform better in school, be happier and are better positioned for success in school and
life.
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BOOKSHELF
For children:
- Awful Ogre's Awful Day (Greenwillow, 2001)
- Don't Feed the Monster on Tuesdays!: The Children's Self-Esteem Book (Landmark Editions,
1991)
- Don't Pop Your Cork on Mondays!: The Children's Anti-Stress Book (Landmark Editions,
1988)
For adults
- Me, Myself and I: How Children Build Their Sense of Self - 18 to 36 Months (Goddard
Press, Inc., 1999)
- The Irreducible Needs of Children: What Every Child Must Have to Grow, Learn, and Flourish
(Merloyd Lawrence Books, 2000)
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